Warehouzinit

Ware•hou•zinit [v. wair-hous-in-it; v. wair-houzn-it] slang

1. To ride bicycles indoors on trainers. "It's too cold outside so I'm going to be warehouzinit."

2. A form of ritualized self-inflicted punishment. "I ate too much yesterday so I'll be warehouzinit."

3. A social event common to the far-north during winter months. "We're going to be warehouzinit at 6:00am tomorrow. It's going to be a lot of fun...and if you're not there we're calling the cops."


Origin:
2000; Alaska (far north); see WAREHOUSE, TRAINER, PUNISHMENT, MENTAL ILLNESS

Go Weird or Go Home!

Yes, it's the month for swimming but don't get stuck in a one-track workout rut and forget why we live here. Because it's weird. If you want ordinary then there are 48 other states to choose from (I'm giving Hawaii some props here). There a plenty of states just filled with interstates, strip-malls, and boredom. Take your pick.



But I'll get to my point. This has been possibly the best week of winter biking we've see for a loooong time. The trails are packed; the air is still; and there is an inch of frost over everything. Moose graze in schoolyards while bikes ride silently by. Giant islands of ice flow through the inlet. You can't buy these experiences anywhere else. If you don't get outside soon then you will miss the entire point of living here.

(Photo courtesy of BPM)

Surprise!

Were you there at Bartlett pool for the special surprise Beaker promised?

This bunny showed up expecting marshmallow Peeps or cupcakes. Mmm...yes the bunny was in eager anticipation of a post-workout treat. Instead the surprise took a different form.

Andy, that bright orange swimsuit with the words on it was a sight indeed. Beaker tried to get a photo but without success. (Consider yourselves lucky).

If you weren't there to see it then ask a friend who was.

(sung to the tune of "I kissed a girl")

This is part of the NCC plan
World Domination
Gonna kick SD in the can
Total domination
This is what, bunnies do
we're gonna kick your tail
we live for, this time to
establish domination

I posted miles and I liked it
Saw them tracking on the website
I posted miles just to try it
the Tri-club is all behind it
I feel so strong
I feel so right
Don't even try to fight it
I posted miles and I liked it
I liked it

You all will come to know my name
It's Incognito
We're playing a domination game
Just trying to win it
This is what, our teams do,
just dominate the game,
Incognito, will lead you
Post your miles today

I posted miles and I liked it
Saw them racking on the website
I posted miles just to try it
the Tri-club is all behind it
I feel so strong
I feel so right
Don't even try to fight it
I posted miles and I liked it
I liked it

Incog he is so magical,
Soft tail, fast feet, and runable
He can't resist the mile log
He's too good to deny it
He's a big deal, dominates it

I posted miles and I liked it
Saw them racking on the website
I posted miles just to try it
the Tri-club is all behind it
I feel so strong
I feel so right
Don't even try to fight it
I posted miles and I liked it
I liked it

I like it

Jason send us this from Arizona. Great choice of riding trail. He adds that he saw a giant jackrabbit but that it didn't stick around for the picture.

The Final Countdown

This is it. In a little more than 24 hours the competition will be over and one team will walk away with it all; one team with bunny ears that is.

It's time for our end of the competition rock power anthem. The band is different but you'll recognize the tune.

NO, NO, NO!

http://sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/AKTriathlon/message/6232

What on earth is going on here, I mean really, someone fill me in. Three pages on shaving? For men? Until you can catch me, you fuzzy little man peach you, I wouldn't worry about slicking down those legs of yours. Look at my beautiful coat, see how it shines? Notice my rippling leg muscles as I bound away from you, running like my tail is on fire (does anyone else smell smoke?) as I dash past the Sharks?

On the topic of "it looks sexy", I took an informal poll last night, and 1 out of 1 woman asked said "Oh Incog, don't you ever shave" - which is pretty much all the answer I need on the subject. So Beaker, Carla, and all you other crazy ladies out there, remember this is Alaska. Where men are men, and hey. Get away from me with those clippers. It's not funny any more. I'm not kidding.

DINO HELP ME!!!!

Run Run Run

I can't believe how many bunnies showed up midnight Saturday to run in circles. Don't mess with the bunnies. Any time. Any day.

And if some of you San Diego readers don't believe it happened then tune to our TV link and click "On Demand". You will see a clip of the bunnies running down the track. So there.

http://www.mogulus.com/alaskatriathlontv


Shadow or no shadow?
Doesn't matter. Read what the Chicago Zoological Society says:

The first official Groundhog Day was in 1886, and since then groundhogs have been successful in forecasting the season only 39% of the time. They may lack meteorological skills, but they’re expert hibernators.

Great at SLEEPING! Now there's a skill.

February 2nd could become "Marmot Day"

Bunny usually stays out of the political scene but this caught my attention:

State of Alaska, Senate Bill 58:
"An Act establishing February 2 of each year as Marmot Day; and providing for an effective date."

http://www.legis.state.ak.us/basis/get_bill.asp?session=26&bill=SB%20%2058

How could I not be in favor of changing "Groundhog Day" to "Marmot Day"? Mind you I have nothing against groundhogs, but serious differences with "The Groundhog". He's had a quite a year wreaking havoc on our weather.

But then I learned a groundhog IS a marmot (genus "Marmota"). Same animal - different name. They are also known as "woodchuck" and "whistling pig" (I like that last one).

How about they just give us a day off for no reason and leave the critter out of it.

Round Three - HERE WE COME!!

Alright hoppers, it's getting close to that time, and we can't back off now. We've managed to secure victories in two rounds, and you know San Diego is going to come out swinging in the final round. Right now they're holding a small lead on the overall miles, but I think we can get that licked. Here's the challenge bunnies - keep enough miles going on the bike so we don't slip too far, but rest up those legs so we can open up a can on the 1st.

On a lighter note, I wanted to share this wisdom with you all. Shot Blocks do not taste good when frozen. Now I know what you're thinking, and it's probably along the same lines as my thoughts. Shot Blocks are like delicious chewy candy. Jolly Ranchers are delicious hard candy. Freezing something usually makes it hard, so therefore a frozen Shot Block should be like a delicious hard candy.

Now I'm not saying that this experiment started out as an intentional taste testing of a frozen shot block. No sirree, Incognito did not go and put a bag of Black Cherry Shot Blocks in the freezer for an evening to intentionally eat frozen. That would be planning, and that my bunnies just isn't Incog's game. No, this particular pack of nutrition was left in a truck bed during that wonderful week we had. Upon returning home from a run, this bag called to me like a siren under the sea "Eat me Incog, I'm delicious!". Alice herself couldn't have felt a greater pull from that magical cupcake that sent her spiraling down the rabbit hole.

With some trepidation, and a lot of anticipation, I tore into that bag like a hamster going through a newspaper. I could already taste that Black Cherry goodness that would tide me over until I could get some real rabbit food, and that would throw that spring back into my step. Much to my surprise however, I discovered that you cannot chew a frozen Shot Block, and it no longer has that delicious flavor. One might say it was down right nasty. I think I preferred the sand covered ones from my last vacation over these disgusting morsels. Blech.

So with that tip bunnies, warm up your blocks and set your clocks. The final month of the NCC is just around the corner and it's time to put San Diego to bed.

HOP ON!

Park the Pugsley

Wanna' go outside and play? The seriously-messed up record-setting weather has made a mess of our playground:

• Hilltop Ski Area: Closed


• Arctic Valley Ski Area: Closed


• Alyeska Resort: Open (huh? must be synthetic snow)


• Local X-Ski Trails: Stay off!


• X-ski HS Races: Cancelled


• Chugach National Forest: Considerable avalanche danger in areas
  
  (Read the bit about the anonometer at Alyeska blowing apart)


• Ice skating: Wear rubber boots


• Snow shoeing: What's snow?


• Low areas: Flooding


• The Frosty Bottom 25/50: Postponed till next weekend.


• Local roads: Dry, wet, icy, flooded...and that's just the first mile. Bunny was thinking of going for a bike ride in this warm weather but I wasn't sure if I needed a road bike, mt bike, skates, or a boat.


• The Freeze Art Project: Now renamed "Thaw"

I guess you could always go for a walk or run. Hmmm...YakTraks or Xtra Tuffs?

By the way, if you're pining for a Pugsley but are suffering the January checkbook blues then stop by Chain Reaction. They're raffling one for $20 a ticket.

Make Up Your Mind Varmint

The Groundhog has been playing with the remote! Last week it was so cold the pipes in my hutch burst and my hot tub froze over. Yesterday the varmint cranks the volume to 11, the temp hits 50, so my hutch flooded and the roof blew off.

Remember after you clear the water out of your basements and patch your roof to get a ride in.

Trashed Trainers

What's this? It seems the colder it gets, the more miles we log. Despite near record-setting low temperatures all over Alaska last week Bunnies have held off uglies from all over the U.S. Anchorage and Kenai haven't seen a positive temperature all week, Juneau has been buried in snow, and Fairbanks is 45 below - don't even get me started! (Actually I think should read, "don't even get your car started" but I digress).

Very few of you have ventured outside. Sure there's been a lone Bunny here and there, and some die-hard bike commuters covered in 15 layers, goggles, and masks, but overall there's just a lot of Bunnies with Cabin Fever. "Guess what?! You've got a fever, and the only prescription...is more cowbell! more trainer"

So what do you do? You retreat to your trainers and log more miles. You leave a wake of trashed trainers, wrecked rollers, compromised Computrainers, and tired treadmills. So keep wearing out the warranties and pack in the miles. Trainers are cheap but victory is priceless.


Got a Trashed Trainer story? Share it in the comments.

Incog's gone crazy!

Go Beaker, it's your birthday, get busy.

Are you kidding me!?!? Has the world gone crazy? Someone check the containment unit, because I think that pesky fellow from the EPA has shut it down again and Venkman's prediction of dogs and cats living together is coming true.

What is Incognito ranting about you ask? Why is there foam on my lips and my tail swishing like I'm a cat on the prowl? How is it that my tail swishes in the first place (I'm seriously just that awesome)?

It looks like the NCC has had a moment of brilliance and realized that contrary to popular belief - not all triathletes plan on being in bed before midnight tonight. That's right folks. In their infinite wisdom, the NCC judges have extended the time in which miles can be entered for December's sessions. This means you don't have to rush home tonight to get your miles in (You ARE still swimming, right?), and a certain Tri-Chick can get her freak on tonight instead of plugging in miles.

Now is it just me, or does the thought of that crazy cheerleader hitting the bubbly just make you want to dive into your hole and spin the winter away? That's the point baby! I can't wait to see you all cranking out the miles tomorrow. Nothing like the smell of alcohol infused bodies in the morning. Smells like victory. (cue Flight of the Valkyries).

HOP ON!

Featuring..... ME!

Can you dig it?

Obviously the word of me has spread far and wide, thanks to your mad hopping skills. Thanks to the hard work of many, we have a special opportunity. That's right hoppers, Incognito, the one and only, will be featured on his own TV show! Yep, check it out at http://www.mogulus.com/alaskatriathlontv

Unfortunately for my massive fan base, Incognito can't allow himself to be shown on TV. Because of this, I'm asking all of YOU to represent me tomorrow at the NCC Challenge ride. Some of the technical bunnies are working their fluffy tails off to set up a streaming video, and we'll be broadcasting the ride to the entire world - and most specifically to those sharks in San Diego.

Now to sweeten the pot, your favorite bunny has arranged for a super bonus to the ride. ATC will donate $100, up to $500, for every 1000 miles ridden on Thursday. How cool is that! Want to learn more about who's getting the cash... click this link http://www.challengedathletes.org/main.htm

Grab your bikes and nutrition bunnies. This is our time to set the other clubs on their heels, and establish the day one lead that carries us to February.

HOP ON!

Shaft or Incog... you tell me!

(cue theme to Shaft)

Who's the mad hopping bun
That runs triathlons just for fun?
INCOG!
Ya damn right!

Who is the man that gives his tubes
to his brother man?
INCOG!
Can you dig it?

Who's the hare that won't cop out
When there's a few extra workouts?
INCOG!
Right On!

They say this hare Incog is a bad mother
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I'm talkin' 'bout Incog.
THEN WE CAN DIG IT!

He's a complicated hare
and he knows more about triathlons than you
INCOGNITO!

First and Second

Alaska rabbits took the swimming titles. I just love looking at this list and seeing Bunnies and Wabbits ahead of San Diego, FAST, and DC. Spend a little extra time gloating. You've earned it.

The Grinch Who Stole the Pool Sessions

I've heard from so many of you over the past few days saying things like, "Bunny, I tried to get in extra swim miles but the pool was closed." Bunny feels your pain but we have to remember these places close for holidays. If we ran the pools there would be midnight swim meets to work off the extra servings of Roast Beast. Just pay attention to the calendars and email alerts and work with what you've got. Remember the other clubs are facing the same thing.

There's a first time for everything!

I got a note back from Santa Claws:

Bunny,
You've never made the list (ever!) so this year I'm going to try something different. I'm going to extend you a little 'credit' in hopes you can keep your little bunny nose clean.

Keep your mind on your own game and play fair or don't play at all. No more flats. No more sand in water bottles. No more pebbles in running shoes. Remember I'm watching. Pay it forward.

Santa Claws

He gave me a game about a bunch of rabid rabbits and a cool t-shirt too. How did he know? Maybe it was all that extra time at the pool.

This year I'm going to try to be a good bunny. Really.

Bunny.

Santa Claws

I know he's going to bring me something good. Not like last year. I know it. I know it!